Continuing My Path

       I am back on track and know what I want. My life is my own with a great partner in my husband to share it with. We both want pretty much the same thing in our lives, the same future for us and our family. And though the path will not be easy, we are working together to achieve that goal. Starting small but who knows, we could end up on the big side of things....

Patriotic Thoughts

        As they search the perimeter of the camp to secure it for the night, the rain soaks through their uniforms. They continue on as if it is nothing new, besides it cools them from the heat of the day they just spent crossing the hot desert with its sand storms blowing in from all directions. At the camp, those that have rest for but a few hours are getting ready to head out to do a recon of a enemy camp in the distance. They each gather their own rations and keep their thoughts to themselves as they get their heads in the frame of mind the mission requires. No one knows how these things might end. Crap happens and sometimes it goes all wrong, but they do it anyway because its what they signed up to do. They signed a "blank check" that says they are there to fight for the rights of others. Some give their lives in this fight and some come home with wounds that are visible to the eye and some come home with wounds that you can never see or know the pain of. All of our soldiers deserve more than they will ever get from our government, but there is no reason that we the people can not show them our pride in what they given for our country and us. It is because of the soldiers and what they continue to give that we have our great country. Thank you to each and every one of you who have served and given your all for us.

Us

As we continue to grow
In our love one for another,
We learn the likes and dislikes
Of each other.
You have your beliefs,
And I have mine,
Even though they are not the same,
We try to be kind.
I accept yours,
Respect your God,
Why is mine a subject
Of constant jibes.
They both have made us
What we are,
I am thankful to Odin
for bringing you back to my heart.
But without God
And the Great Spirit above,
My heart might not have been here,
For you to love.
All together,
Our gods have kept us whole,
So that when the time came
We could join our two souls.
                        Whtwolf

Where Should I Go

Where should I go I ask,
The reply is my own grunt of disgust,
There is no where to go
On this Earth,
For all the power is up above,
With the one's who have gone before.
The one's who worry no more.
The Great Spirit, the God of the world,
As given them a graceful place
To lay their weary heads.
Again I ask, Where can I go?
What do I do to lighten
My load.
Pray to the Great One, The All Knowing,
Pray and when he feels it is right,
He will show you the light.
But ,What do I do now?
The bills are piling and the creditors
Are biting, all wanting to take a chunk
Of something I haven't got.
What should I do?
Pray for patience and strength,
Pray for courage to travel the path,
The path that only you can choose..
Ask for these,
And with these you will see,
I have always been with you,
Couldn't you feel me?
You have survived ,
Time after time,
The hardships of life that you
Have lived thus far.
Through your blind faith,
you have given me your heart,
Your trust in me to do my part.
I will not fail you,
Don't lose faith,
All you have to do is
Pray and wait.
                    Whtwolf

I Am A Survivor

I am tired and my patience is thin,
Tolerance is a little off and
Anger is within.
Stress is up cause of not
Knowing what to do,
Am I gonna sink or swim.
I will swim,
For it is not in me to fail,
I am a survivor who has lived in Hell.

Written in the 90's by : Whtwolf

Now my life is on track
And I have a sense of
Fulfillment back.
A long lost love has come back
And my circle of life
Is back on its path.
My heart is whole,
My life is good and I have
Survived another chapter in my book.

Written in 2012 by: Whtwolf

Trivial Thoughts

    What is it about my life that makes people think they can judge or dictate to me. I am quite capable of living my life. Grant I did not always make the right choices, but they were mine and I learned important lessons from them. Not easy lessons but lessons just the same. The fact that I am actually still here surprises some but I gained strength with each trial I went through. From physical abuse to mental abuse and a few things that will forever remain within me, I endured and learned what is really important in life. What is important enough to fight for and what is not.

Wild Horses

They gallop across the plains,
They run free in the mountains,
They fly on swift hooves like the wind.
There home is the wild,
They live and hide among the trees,
Their herd is a tribal gang fighting to live.
They drink from the rivers and streams,
They eat the green grass of the prairies,
They fight against all odds to stay alive.
They are Wild Horses.

Get a Grip People!!!

Why do people tell you one thing and then when you try doing what they told you to they have changed their minds?! After all this time of trying to hold on to something and falling behind on other expenses, I finally decided to do what was suggested and now I get the "we are not sure we want you to do that". So then it's like ,"what do you want me to do then?" and guess what...No response from two out four of the party involved. Nothing! Give me a fricken break already! So now I am stuck with a payment I can not make, which means I am getting charged late fees and extra finance charges and the taxes are due and they do not want to answer..Trying to be leveled headed and cool about this is becoming very difficult. The main problem is that no one is communicating with me so that I can communicate with those that the money is owed to..So, the original owner is fixing to get the property back because this is not going to be the way my year goes.....

Helping Hand

   People often struggle to change themselves, physically and emotionally. They ask their friends and peers to help with their issues at hand. The problem with this is that a peer or friend can only do so much. They can only help as much as you let them, because ultimately you have to want to help yourself. It is very easy to find a million excuses to continue what you know you should not, so why is it so hard to find the one ultimate excuse to break it. To give up what we use as crutches or what we are comfortable with is more difficult than anything most people go through. Will power, positive attitude, and learning to trust yourself to try and do the right thing are difficult tasks. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Life itself is a challenge, a challenge that we all live one day at a time. Some slay their inner demons, their weak areas of doubt and toss their crutches. Some do not. I am continually fighting some of mine, but will not give up hope that one day I will conquer them.

           Never lose sight of the path you have traveled,

                 For that path and what you learned from it is

            what makes you who you are today....

                                                       Whtwolf

Where I Am

     Well, it has been a long while since I have added to this blog. The new year has been a strange one for sure. As it started, I was unsure of alot of things, including myself. Life had dealt, for lack of better word, a rough hand to play. At my age of 44 years , I have buried two husbands and divorced one. I was fairly sure that my life was due for a change and I was damn sure it did not involve another permanent relationship. Bills were adding up, things were breaking down, kids were still growing and had needs, and myself, well , I had just about all I could take...Every thing I tried to do in a positive manner seemed to backfire. At this point, I just decided, what the hell..I can only do so much, only handle so much...I let go of most(I am only human) of my stress and trusted things to just go right somehow..And most of the time they did..But I was still feeling alone, down, and useless..Then I found my high school sweetheart, we talked and straightened out the way things went wrong all those years ago..And we kept talking and talking and talking..Seems things are moving right along from where they left off..So much for no more relationships..This was where I was supposed to be..I was supposed to have shared the last 30 years with this man and did not get to. But I will share the rest of my life with him. I will give him what we both have craved for, a love that has no bounds and no limits...A love that was meant to be shared by our two hearts for all eternity...And it will be...